Wazzup Pilipinas!?
There is a devastating paradox many survivors of abuse face—one that forces them into an impossible decision. Should they protect themselves and speak out, or remain silent for the supposed "greater good"? When the abuser is a powerful figure—a leader, a philanthropist, or someone deemed indispensable to a community—the weight of this dilemma can become unbearable.
For many survivors, the fear of speaking out isn’t just about personal retaliation. It’s about the larger consequences: Will my truth harm the people I care about? Will I be blamed for destroying something good? Will I be cast as the villain for revealing an inconvenient reality?
This is a tragic and all-too-common reality. When a man in power is accused of abuse, the immediate reaction is often not concern for the survivor but concern for what his downfall might mean for the institutions he represents. The focus shifts from justice to damage control. The survivor’s pain is sidelined, reduced to an unfortunate but secondary issue.
The False Choice: Safety or the ‘Greater Good’
Survivors are often expected to weigh their own suffering against the contributions of their abuser. Yes, he hurt you, but look at all the good he’s done. This argument is both cruel and deeply flawed. It assumes that progress and morality are separate—that as long as someone is beneficial in one area, their sins in another can be overlooked.
But true progress isn’t just about the projects one builds or the initiatives one leads. It is about the integrity with which those things are done. A community built on silence and fear is not a healthy one. A leader who abuses his power is not a leader worth protecting.
By pressuring survivors into silence, we send a chilling message: Your pain is an acceptable price to pay for the comfort of others. But it is not. No survivor should have to carry the burden of keeping a community intact at the cost of their own well-being.
The Cost of Silence
Silence is a weapon in the hands of abusers. The more they are shielded by a culture of denial, the more their power grows. The belief that speaking up will do more harm than good is what allows abuse to continue unchecked.
And what of the community that fears losing an abuser’s influence? The truth is, any progress that depends on the suffering of others is not true progress at all. It is a fragile illusion—one that will eventually shatter, leaving behind an even greater betrayal.
The real loss is not in exposing abuse. The real loss is in allowing it to persist.
Dismantling the Barriers to Justice
If we want a world where survivors feel safe coming forward, we must actively work to dismantle the barriers that silence them. This means:
Believing survivors. The default response to an allegation should not be skepticism but support. The courage it takes to speak out should be met with validation, not doubt.
Creating safe spaces. Survivors must have places where they can tell their stories without fear of judgment, retaliation, or dismissal.
Challenging power structures. Those in positions of power must be held to the highest standards, not given immunity because of their status or contributions.
Ending the myth of the ‘perfect’ abuser. Abusers are not always obvious villains. They can be charismatic, successful, and even beloved. But good deeds do not erase harm. Abuse must be recognized for what it is—no matter who commits it.
To Those Struggling in Silence: You Are Not Alone
To anyone who has ever been made to feel that their pain is a burden, that their truth is inconvenient, that they must endure in silence for the sake of others—you are not alone. Your voice matters.
There is no greater good that justifies your suffering. There is no contribution so valuable that it outweighs the harm caused by abuse.
Speaking out is not destruction. It is justice. It is healing. It is the first step toward a world where no one is forced to choose between their own safety and the well-being of a community. Because true progress does not come from silence—it comes from truth. And you deserve to be heard.
Ross is known as the Pambansang Blogger ng Pilipinas - An Information and Communication Technology (ICT) Professional by profession and a Social Media Evangelist by heart.
.jpg)
Post a Comment