Wazzup Pilipinas Original Short Stories Series: Dilemma

Wazzup Pilipinas!

Problems.

According to the dictionary problem means it is something that is difficult to deal with; something that is a source of trouble or worry.

Well, what are you going to do if you have gigantic problems? Would you still carry on or give up already?

Me, I really don't know what to do now because of all the things that happened to my life. I need my mom to comfort me. I need Jason to be always there for me whenever I need him, but where are they?

If I could just take a rest.

Forever.



February 20, 2014

I’m getting ready for our anniversary because Jason and I are going to eat at a fancy restaurant. I am so excited because I’m going to tell him that I’m one month pregnant.

“Honey, are you ready? Let’s go.” He said with a grin on his face.

“Yeah, sure. C’mon.” I said then I kissed him on the cheek.

We already arrived at the restaurant, ate our food and talked about some things about our lives. I think I should tell him now.

“Uhm hon, I have good news to tell you.” I said.

“Me too, hon! But, you go first.” He said.

“Jason Portman, I am one month pregnant.” I said with a massive smile on my face.

“Are you serious?! Holy crap! I’m already a dad! Margaux Graceffa you’re going to be Mrs. Portman already!” He shouted very proud.

I can see that he’s getting something from his pocket. And omg! I think we’re getting married! And yes I’m right!

Jason ordered some more wine but I didn’t drink that much because I’m pregnant. I think he’s already tipsy we should go home now. I think Jason can’t drive right now, I should drive.

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I just woke up in a hospital. Oh no, what happened last night? Is my baby fine? Oh no what am I going to do. I am calling Abraham Hudkins—Jason’s grandfather—for help.

“Hey, Abraham help me, please. I really don’t know what to do. Please.” I said crying.

“Okay calm down. I am going in your room. Wait for me, okay?” He said.

“Wait, what? In my room? Where are you?”

“Wait I’m already here.”

“Okay.” I said. Abraham’s already here.

“Hey, what’s the problem?” He said very worried.

“Where’s Jason? Is he okay? My baby, I am one month preg—“ I wasn’t able to finish my sentence because I started crying like a baby.

“Shh. Stop crying. Every problem has its own solution. I can help you solve this, okay?”

I nodded. By the way, Jason and I are so close to Abraham and he is like our father.

“I have to tell you something, Margaux. Jason is in a bad condition right now.”

“Oh no, this is my entire fault!” I started crying again.

I already left the hospital. I’ve decided to not visit him because I don’t know how to tell everything to him. The accident just happened a week ago but being so lonely and depressed felt like a year. I don't know what to do now with my life, I'm just laying on my bed thinking of all the things that happened to my life. All the kisses, dates, sweetness I miss all of it. I miss him. I want him now.

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Abraham just called me and told me that Jason is doing fine. Thank God. But, how can I tell him about our baby? About the accident? I really don’t know, I’ll just go there and talk to him because I already miss him so much.

I’m running so fast towards Jason’s room but Abraham blocked me.

“Abraham, why?” I asked.

“Let’s talk first.”

“Why? What’s happening?”

“I asked Jason about you but he can’t remember anything about you. He has a lacunar amnesia which is the loss of memory about one specific event or a specific person. It is a type of amnesia that leaves a gap in the record of memory. And that gap is you. All his memories with you are erased.” He said.

“What? What am I going to do now?”

“It’s up to you. Do you want him to be happy with you or without you?”

“Of course with me but it’s my fault that our baby died.”

“It’s not your fault, Margaux. It’s an accident.”

“I want to go home now.”

“Okay take care, Margaux.”

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I’m with my mom right now; I need my mom to comfort me. Thank God I have the best mom to support and comfort me with all of my problems. And thank God that my mom adopted me.

I’m already staying with my mom for a week but I noticed something about her. She’s not the same; it’s like there’s something wrong with her. She’s told me that she’s always hearing voices so I brought her to a psychiatrist and she told me that my mom might be schizophrenic. She told me that it can be genetic. And I remembered when my mom told me that her mom is also schizophrenic.

I am thinking of the entire thing that I should do with my life. And I’m just lying on my bed again staring at the ceiling. I am so tired and sick with all of these problems. I started reminiscing about all the good things that happened to my life with Jason. I remember when we first met at Délicieux— the café where I’m working at. I was so clumsy that time. A guy just caught my eye and I asked his order. When I was about to give him his order I slipped on the wet floor and spill his cappuccino on him. I was so embarrassed because of my clumsiness, but thanks to my clumsiness because it gave me a reason to still talk to him.

“Oh my gosh. I am so sorry, sir. Lemme just give you another one I am sooo sorry.” I said with embarrassment.

“It’s okay, Margaux.” He said.

“Wait, sir did you just called me with my name?” I asked.

“Yes, I just read your name tag.” He said smirking.

I just smiled and ran to get another cappuccino.

“Here’s your order again, sir. I’m so sorry.” I said.

“It’s okay. See you whenever.” He said smiling.

After that incident he’s already going in our café regularly. He got my number and we were always talking to each other. We became so close and asked me if I could be his girlfriend. And of course, I said yes. We were so happy back then if I could just turn back the time and be happy with him again. But no, I couldn’t do that. I don’t have any ideas on solving these problems. What am I going to do to my mother? How am I going to tell the real story to Jason?

I just stared at the ceiling and after a few minutes I fell asleep. On the next day, I still feel very exhausted. I brought my mom into the rehabilitation center. They told me that they could take care of her. After that I went to the café and talked to my co-worker/best friend. I told her about my mom’s conditions and asked her if she could visit my mom in the rehabilitation center.

After that I went home and again think on how to solve my problems. I cried again, I don’t know what to do anymore. I could see a bottle of sleeping pills on my table. If I could just be dead now, I wouldn’t think of any solutions to my problems.



Contributed by Kate Reyes